Why I deleted other stuff

I really shouldn't call her by name, but JGR is the most awful human being I ever met in my life. She has made my life a living hell and she is a complete and total whore. make no mistake.

Fuck the IRS

When I was single, I had to pay in to the IRS. Everybody said that once I got married, I'd get all these tax breaks. Bullfuckingshit! That's a damn lie! In fact, I've had to pay in both years since I've married and not only that, just this afternoon I received notice from the IRS that I owe them almost 700 dollars more for 2002 than I paid in and they are tacking on interest at an astonishingly high rate.

What the hell is going on in life? How can these bastards rape you up the ass and then tell you to bend over for seconds? That's exactly what happened here today. They've been taking advantage of me for years and I've paid way more than my share, but the fuckin' blood-suckin' vampires want more. Actually, vampire is too nice a word for these motherfuckers. Fuck the IRS!

I've probably paid more to the IRS over the past eight years than Bill fuckin' Gates!

This is why I'm so anti-gay-marriage. I resent the fact that a couple of guys might get tax breaks when I've never had a fucking break in my life.

Fuck! When Lord? When's gonna be my time?

Would It Surprise yah to Know?

Would it surprise you to know that I have no idea how many girls I had sex with? Isn't that strange? About four years ago I sat down and really tried to figure it all out and the first thing I realized was that I couldn't remember all their names. And the longer I sat there thinking the more it was like... there was that girl that time that just bent over the table and pulled down her pants and said, "Do yah' wanna taste?" But who the hell remembers her name? And just how many more incidents were there like that when I was fully inebriated and have no recollection of the events that transpired? Many is the morning I woke up and didn't know where I was, who that girl was beside, or how I was getting home.

My compulsive sexual behavior has long been a mystery to me. It is at the very heart of my duplicity. Of course, the most duplicitous girl I ever fucked was JGR.

Only Three That Mattered

I do a lot of work with young people. It is a very rewarding experience and the teenage boys are always amazed to discover just how much I dated. I tell them I was single for a great many years, which is true to some extent. I just leave out the fact that I was very promiscuous. Again--this is a study in duplicity, yah?

But in all that dating, there were only three that really mattered. There was that first love... the college sweetheart... the relationship that ended so tragically. I don't think of her much any more, but the consequences and the scars from that relationship seem to drive my life to this day.

The second... that's a whole 'nother saga for another post.

And third? I married her.

I Am The Duplicitous One

One of the things that has always disturbed me most about myself is my own duplicity. That was a seriously self-centered sentence, was it not? Just count the references. Sounds like I'm obsessively focused on self. Truth is, I'm really not. But I have done a lot of rotten shit in my day. Its remarkable when you consider what I've done in the past versus where I am today. Today, I have job helping other people. People depend on me for a great many things, not the least of which is the lead them and guide them. Outwardly, God has blessed me with the ability to lead, but inwardly I often feel like two people. There is the person I really am and then there is the person everybody wants/expects me to be. That's what this is for--a place to express those thoughts that consume me sometimes... Those dirty, nasty little thoughts that drag me down and wear me down and make me feel like I'm the most awful fuckin' person on the planet and that absolutely ape-shit.

But like I'm fond of saying--at one time or another we're all MHMR material. This blog is designed specifically for those times and for most others when I'm feeling slightly insane.